Hunker down, fellow survivors!
Spread the word among your allies that Uncle Zeddie is alive and well - despite the hopes and dreams of the lazy murderers of our fair Malton. Fear not, for your Uncle Zeddie is not about to fall into some clumsy trap. The vile killers of this town would much prefer to have his head given to them on a silver platter, and aren't about to go to the effort of solving the mystery of who is Uncle Zeddie.
No, no.
They'll sit comfortably and complain that your Uncle Zeddie doesn't fold like a card table - that he doesn't wait patiently while they saunter into his broadcast booth. They'd rather waste time whining up 28.01 than walk the three measly blocks to find where he has bedded down for the night.
Of course, even if they found him, they wouldn't recognize him - presumably they still think Uncle Zeddie is his real name. They haven't yet pieced together the clues, and I doubt they've even begun to try. That would be too much like honest work - the sort of work that is your stock in trade.
Now you know that the dark forces really are closing in on your Uncle Zeddie. And for that reason, he guards his identity zealously. This is why, my good friends, I have yet to take you up on your generous offers of revivification, tours of your home neighborhoods, and a few beers in a well lit and well stocked club.
Rest assured that I am out there, fighting the good fight and helping where I can. I trust the good nature and altruism of my fellow survivors to care for me when I'm down. And you can't get much more down that being a zombie, am I right?
Perhaps when my cover is blown, when Lois finally sees me with my glasses off, and my universal survivor ID number is made public, perhaps then you'll add me to your cell phones, perhaps then you'll keep a weather eye out for me Mrh? away in the graveyards, and perhaps then we'll share those drinks and tales.
Until then, via con dios! Keep an eye out for my leaflets among the newspapers, and keep your radio handy for the next edition of...
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